So in my wisdom I decided the best thing I could do today was go to work. It’ll be a distraction I said, I can’t just not go to work because my period started AGAIN I said. So I dutifully got on the bus at 7:30 getting to work by 8:30. The thing is I just couldn’t face it, I couldn’t concentrate and all I wanted to do was come home curl up with the Lost Astronomer and cry, and cry, and cry some more.
So after about half an hour or so I went to the team secretary (all the bosses were in a meeting) told her I was feeling unwell and was going home. At which point she told me I looked terrible* and I ran away from work catching the next bus home.
I came in to find the Lost Astronomer still in bed, where I promptly went to join him**. Crying my eyes out. And this has basically been our day. Me crying the husband calming me down. I spent some time messing with the utterly dreadful jigsaw some particularly cruel relative gave us for Christmas (it’s a black and white mechanical drawing of a plane – 1000 pieces and so difficult) and I’ve read an entire Katie Fforde novel.
I also emailed the fertility clinic telling them about the bleeding and asking if I could take the pregnancy test now instead of Wednesday so we can confirm that it’s over and start trying to pick up the pieces of our lives. Unfortunately, they phoned and said that they couldn’t stop me but they’d prefer if I waited until Wednesday to take the test. Or at least I understand that’s what they said I gave my mobile to the Lost Astronomer to answer. I couldn’t cope.
So despite the fact I should go back to work, I’m just not going to until later in the week and the test is done so I can calm down a bit first… I’m really not dealing with any of this at all well. Which considering I never had much faith in the IVF in the first place I find completely bizarre.
*Crying makes me pale instead of blochy. And I suppose I must look a bit stressed.
**On a complete side note the Lost Astronomer didn’t wake up when I came through the door, despite the fact that I’m a bit, (OK a lot), heavy handed so the door definitely slammed behind me. In fact the first he knew there was anyone in the house was when i flushed the toilet after getting in, which worried him a bit as there was no one besides himself home. I don’t know what he expected to find particularly desperate for the toilet thieves? But my point is anyone could have walked in (with an empty bladder obviously) and taken all our stuff without him even waking up. Luckily we don’t have any valuables.